The Misadventures of Agrivains Court 1
by Pandora's tears
Summary: the first in a collection of one shots based ont the musical "Once upon a mattress" Written for myself and my friends who were in the show! rating to be safe, nothing really bad... probably K


The Misadventures of Queen Agravain's Court:

#1. Baths Featuring:

Sir Studley  
Lady Merrill

"Aahhh...a little peace, a little quiet... and no wenches." Merrill slid slowly into the lake; her time to let her corset loose and relax. A rare time indeed for her. She floated and dove, soaking her hair, and remained completely oblivious to the group of maidens giggling down the path.

"Lucy, what if she figures out-"  
"Robin, there's no way she could ever find us," Lucille inched her way closer to the pile of fabrics that lay on a log: Merrill's dress.  
"Well, we should at least brought her a blanket or something..."Annya Snickered, peering through the bushes to the inattentive bather.  
Lucille sighed. "Well, I did bring this..."

Merrill climbed out as the sun slowly sank behind the mountains.  
Carefully tiptoeing over the rocks that lined the bank, she pushed through the bushes... but her dress was nowhere in sight.  
"Funny... I was sure it was..." Shivering in the now rapidly growing darkness, she crawled around searching for the dress.  
"It was right there! I'm certain it was this very log! I–oh, no!"  
She stopped, listened, then shrieked. A horse approached.  
In one last desperate search of the log, she found a scarf.  
"Lady Lucille's...OH!! That little!" Quickly grabbing it and wrapping it around as much of herself as she could, she rushed into a grove of bushes.  
It was the most uncomfortable position she had ever been in.  
Not only dripping wet and naked, but leaning against a tree, a berry briar across her bottom,  
leaves shoved in her face, and now she could just barely make out Sir Jacob Studley riding to the lake.  
_Why me? Why?  
_Studley jumped off his horse and led it to the water and Merrill realized she would have a long wait. She tried to shift to find a more comfortable position,  
but only succeeded in implantingthe briar in her bottom and thigh. She cried out, then quickly covered her mouth with a loud smack.  
Studley turned, drawing his sword, "My lady? Are you alright? Does someone harm you?"  
He took two steps forward and she screamed again, "NO! Please, don't come any closer."  
He stoped, "Is it lady Merrill?"  
She groaned, the briar still lodged in her skin. "Um... Yes. I'm afraid it is."  
Studley began to advance again.  
"You mustn't come any closer. I beg you."  
"My lady, if you are in some kind of distress, I wish to offer myself to you."  
He tried to peer over the foliage, and she backed up, forgetting the briar.  
She wailed as it ripped her skin.  
"Justdon'tcomeanycloser!!"  
Holding up the scarf with one hand, she used the other to feel her new scratches. She groaned.  
"The truth is, sir... That is, I fear that... I did...I came down from the palace to take a bath and had my dress stolen."  
There was an annoying silence, then a small snicker. That snicker grew to a chuckle and didn't stop.  
"It isn't as funny as all that, I assure you, Sir, " Merrill grumbled.  
"But if you would be so kind as to take your horse and go, I am sure I could come up with a way to get to the castle without to much embarrassment."  
Sheathing his sword, and still chuckling, he bowed low to the ground, "And leave you? Spend the night wondering if you made it? Never my Lady!"  
Merrill exhaled sharply, outraged, "And how can you help me? Or is that it? You just want to see me?!"  
She watched him turn and walk back to his horse and she nodded, happy to see he had some decency.  
But he didn't get on it and ride away. Instead, he searched in his satchel.  
"My lady, you do insult me," she could hear the grin in his voice as he pulled out his burgundy cloak. "I mean to offer you cover from the cold and a ride to the castle."  
She sighed, wondering how badly she would be teased at the palace for arriving, naked no less,  
with Sir Studley and wearing his cloak.  
"We would of course take the back entrance?"  
"Actually, a secret entrance."  
She grunted, defeated.  
She thrust her hand out through the bushes and took the cloak from the still snickering Studley.


End file.
